


Welcome to my life

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Beginnings, Ficlet, Introspection, M/M, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 06:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “But I’m not doing anything for you. I’m not doing anything to support this madness, and you telling me I can love you is...” he blushed, letting go of his hand. “It makes no sense, Yuto.”





	Welcome to my life

Keito had tried to tell him countless times. He had tried to tell him they couldn’t be together, he had tried to tell him that he wasn’t cut out to love anyone, that he was going to disappoint him and that they both would've ended up hurt from that mutual attempt at loving each other.

But Yuto had never been inclined to listen to him, and in that occasion he had decided to do as he pleased, slowly sneaking into his life, nourishing that hunger for affection Keito didn’t even know he had, convincing him day after day to accept him as part of his everyday routine.

“I don’t understand.” Yuto told him one night, half-lying on the couch. “Why you keep saying you can’t love anybody.” he reached out a hand, searching for the elder’s, letting his fingers slip between Keito’s. “It seems to me like you manage that perfectly.” he said, holding his hand tight, distractedly brushing his fingertips over his veins.

Keito bit his lip and shook his head.

At times, as over the top as his attitude could be, he envied how Yuto always managed to see the best in things, just like he was doing right now.

“But I’m not doing anything for you. I’m not doing anything to support this madness, and you telling me I can love you is...” he blushed, letting go of his hand. “It makes no sense, Yuto.”

Nakajima shrugged, suddenly thoughtful.

“I just need you to let me do my thing. I’m sure I can convince you of the fact that you’re wrong.” he moved quickly, kneeling on the couch. “Why can’t you just try?” he asked, serious.

Keito winced.

He didn’t know how to explain what was wrong, he didn’t know what to say and how to make him understand what was going through his mind.

“I don’t know, Yutti.” he started to say. “I’ve never been good with people. I don’t know what to do in a relationship. I...” he blushed violently, lowering his eyes on the floor. “I’ve never really opened with anyone. And there are things about which I don’t want to talk, but if I were to be with you then I’d feel like I should do that and... I don’t want to. I’m not used to it, it’s not something I’d like.” he looked at him again, shyly, finding the other looking at him dead serious. “I don’t want to complain about stuff that’s happened ages ago, that now doesn’t let me love someone. I’m sorry, Yuto.”

Nakajima raised an eyebrow, perplex.

But in the end, against all odds, he smiled.

“I care about everything. I care about all that’s happened to you, I care about all you’ve done. All you are, is all I need to know, Keito. But I don’t care about what you want or don’t want to talk about. I’m not asking for anything more than you already give to me.” he explained, shrugging.

The elder seemed to think about it.

He was scared. Scared that it could’ve gone wrong, scared that Yuto may have come to realize that he didn’t like so much to spend his time with him, scare to be close to him and then being abandoned.

But looking at Yuto, his hopeful expression while waiting for an answer, he found hard to believe he could ever hurt him.

He nodded and nothing else, and it seemed to be enough for the younger.

Yuto went back lying on the couch, resting his head on his legs and letting him caress him, slowly but more confidently.

Keito wanted to believe he could love him, that he could let him know him.

He wanted to believe he could finally trust someone enough to let him into his life.


End file.
